The Most Important Lessons My Second Child Taught Me

Last week my daughter, Mackenzie, turned six. She wasn’t my first kid. But she was the one that made me a “girl mom” and she is also leads the pack of our not-so-small girl gang with her three little sisters.

Just like most birthdays, that day had me reminiscing over the last few years, wondering where the time went. It is so crazy looking back on her baby pictures and then looking at her now. I had no idea that such a beautiful, smart, and loving kid with a big, kind heart would come out of that little, bald baby. How in the heck did I get so lucky?

I remember the first few weeks after she was born. I found myself struggling to adjust to two kids and often wondering if I was cut out for it. We grow through what we go through. And boy, did that girl teach me a few things.

1. Challenges Make Life Interesting and Meaningful

She wasn’t a challenge. It was a combination of a newborn and a toddler, with a mom who had no idea what she was doing. That was the challenge.

But the beautiful thing about the struggle is that we bonded over trying to figure it out together. She often asks what she was like as a baby and finds it humorous when I tell her she was a mama’s girl. I couldn’t even pass her off to her dad somedays when my back just needed a break because she would wriggle and fight until she wound up in my arms again.

As challenging as it was, I found great joy in this tiny human having so much trust in me. I didn’t know what I was doing. But for whatever reason, she felt like I did. And I loved that.

2. My Heart Can Handle It

I had no idea my heart could love two kiddos so much. Were you ever fearful of that? I can tell you, without a shadow of a doubt, that it is absolutely possible. Your heart doesn’t split to accommodate loving two kids, it doubles in size.

There are times when I just sit back and watch my kids play together. It makes my heart physically ache (like the Grinch on Christmas morning) because they bring me so much pride and joy.

3. Time Goes By Faster

Like way faster! My second born doesn’t have nearly as many baby pictures as my first born. I almost always forgot to take those cute monthly milestone pictures with her. It felt like every time I blinked, she all of a sudden learned to crawl, walk, or say Mama for the first time. I blinked again and suddenly she is starting her 1st grade year.

But there are also some days where time stands completely still. Like the nights we stay up a little past bedtime and play hide and seek. Or when they treat me like their horse and I literally collapse in the hallway after giving them their 40th ride to their bed. Her giggle is contagious!

Kenzie will often climb up on the couch next to me, rest her head against my arm, and say nothing at all. She just looks at me like I’m the most important thing in the world to her. I know that soon she will be too old and too cool for me.

She Changed Us

I often remind myself that if I can tackle the responsibilities of two kids, I can do just about anything. She was the one that gave me so much confidence. That boost of confidence led me to believe that I could handle more.

Also, because of her, my husband reconsidered having only two kids. Our family dynamic has changed so much from what we thought it would be. I couldn’t imagine our lives today had we stopped at two.

Being the second born, there is so much I learned from her. She didn’t make me a mom, but more importantly, she made me a better one.