Have you ever read the book, The 5 Love Languages of Children? It is a great book that I recommend every parent read. This book goes into detail as to why we need to discover the language, or actions, in which our children feel most loved. Everyone has a love tank. When that love tank is filled, it creates a stronger relationship.
With love languages, there isn’t a one-size-fits-all. But I believe all of my kids’ love languages include some aspect of quality time. They all thrive on spending time with me, which makes it really hard to venture out of the house by myself…ever.
A recent survey showed that American families only dedicate 37 minutes a day during the week for quality time together. Yikes! People are getting so busy creating a life, they forget to live and enjoy their life, too.
The Struggle With Technology
My 8 year old just got his first phone. He has been begging me for a while so I gave him one of my old phones that he can only use when he is around wifi or connected to my hotspot. His only contacts are family members and couple of close friends. But after entrusting him with the freedom of his own phone, I suddenly realized that I became a role model on how to responsibly use one. I couldn’t lecture him about putting his phone away if that was something I could not model myself.
With technology at our fingertips, it is harder than ever to be present in every moment of our child’s day. I can’t even count how many times I thought I was going to sit on the couch for a couple of minutes to check social media and then, all of a sudden, a half hour goes by. I know I am not alone here!
So when it comes to spending quality time with my family, the best and most important thing I can do for myself is unplug. Your children want your undivided attention! Did you know there are settings on apple devices (sorry, I’m not knowledgable with Android) to help with this? Under settings, and screen time, you will find options to set downtimes and app limits. During downtime, only apps that you choose to allow and phone calls will be available. App limits allows you to set a daily time limit for app categories, like social media. Pretty nifty, huh?
No Fail Method to Staying Off Your Phone
Creating and sharing content for my blog requires a lot of time on technology. I have had to discipline myself in waking up early to finish my projects so that I could allow adequate time that is dedicated to just my children.
But sometimes, even I struggle with being able to let work go to be fully present with my kids. When this happens, I have to put my phone in a place where I know I will be too lazy to go and get it. For me, that place is usually in the car in the garage. There is no other reason I need to go out there. If it is urgent, people can call my husband.
My kids also get really excited about playing one game in particular. It is called, “hide mom’s phone.” You probably guessed it. I let my kids find a hiding spot for it until bed time. For your own sanity, I highly suggest you only play this game with kids you can trust to not forget where they put your phone. I recently found out of desperation, if I ask my AirPods where my phone is, it will ping my phone. That in itself is worth the investment of AirPods, in my opinion (ha!)
Whatever the strategy, find one that works for you!
The Only Thing More Important Than Time is Who We Spend it With
If you are not intentional about scheduling quality time, then let’s be honest, it isn’t likely to happen. You have to block this time out. We typically schedule quality time at least one day a week. For us, this is usually on either a Saturday or a Sunday. Weekends can also be hard if you’re used to being invited to do a bunch of things. But, you will learn how to say no to certain activities and yes to your kids which will better benefit the functionality and happiness of your home!
Some of our favorite quality time activities we enjoy as a family are:
- Cooking and eating meals together
- Planning a family movie night
- Enjoying an after dinner walk together
- Reading books together
- Having a backyard picnic
- Starting a water fight in the backyard
- Planning a living room campout (including an indoor s’mores station)
- Going on a scavenger hunt
- Making play dough together (tutorial and the best play dough recipe here)
- Planning a family game night with a popcorn bar
- Having an arts and crafts night
- Building a fort
For Kids, Love is Spelled T-I-M-E
Quality time with your kids will improve mental health, boost their self-confidence, reduce stress, and strengthen family bonding. Along with those benefits, prioritizing quality time will also demonstrate positive family and relationship dynamics. Kids learn by example and they mimic behaviors they often see. This time with our kids goes by so fast! Be sure to spend as much time as you can with the ones you love the most!
What is your favorite quality time activity you like to do with your kids? Let me know in the comments!
3 Comments
This post was such a great reminder to be intentional with planning. It’s so easy to get caught up in life and everything that we do that you’re not always present in the moment even if you’re with them. Between work, errands, chores, blogging, etc. it’s so easy to be there without really BEING THERE! I read the adult version of the love languages last year in hopes of strengthening my marriage and our understanding of each other, and have been meaning to pick up the one for kids, especially with how expressive my LO is becoming! Glad to hear it’s worth the read!
LOVE this! As a blogger, it’s so hard to not be on my phone because I’m trying to build something FOR my daughter’s future. But she needs me now. Thank you for the perspective and tips!
Great read and agree with this! I absolutely love the list of activities and the “Love is Spelled T-I-M-E”.