Six months ago, I gave birth to my sixth (and final) baby. It has been a wild 10 years of sleepless nights, baby snuggles, changing diapers, kissing boo-boos, feeding bottomless pits, and wishing the time away all while constantly hoping time would slow down.
This year, I also celebrated my 29th birthday. I don’t know how to explain it, but something just felt different. Like celebrating the last year of my 20s meant there was something I was eagerly awaiting in my 30s. It doesn’t help that as a stay at home mom, you are constantly asked by friends, family, and even complete strangers what you are going to do when the kids are all in school. Implying that you aren’t doing enough already.
If you were shocked to find out I willingly gave birth to six kids, then prepare yourself for the next mind-blowing fact of the day: we choose to homeschool all of these kids. So while our sixth kid was completely planned, it was essentially restarting the clock to at least another 18 years of raising a human being into a valuable member of society.
Homeschooling allows us to squeeze in a little extra time into an already short childhood. Raising kids is just like how that Kenny Chesney song goes, “Don’t blink, you just might miss your babies growing like mine did…”
For as much as I love this phase of life we are in, I couldn’t help but feel like there was something else calling my name. And no, it wasn’t just the never ending echo of “Moooooooom” all day long. It was more like an outside force pushing me in a whole new direction than where I thought I was headed.
I’m an intuitive person. I believe if something is meant to be, it will be. Even though my life has carved its own path completely separate from the one pictured, I’ve somehow arrived in a pretty incredible place. So when these indescribable feelings happen, I buckle the hell up, I mean, embrace it.
So before blowing out the candles on my 29th birthday cake, I made less of a wish, and more of a promise to myself that I was going to spend the last year in my 20s figuring out what the next decade of my life would bring.
Stay at Home Mom Becomes Work From Home Mom
If you don’t know me personally, even a quick look at this blog will tell you that I love being a mom. I’m thankful to have been chosen and trusted six different times by God to raise each beautiful and perfect child I was blessed with. Even on my worst days, I find this full time job of being a stay at home mom very fulfilling.
But there was one night when I was nursing my youngest to sleep while scrolling Facebook on my phone that I came across a job listing. A digital marketing agency was looking for a new content writer. This person needed to be creative and detail oriented. I’m thinking, “check and check!” But what really caught my attention was how this position was fully remote and flexible. The voice in the back of my head kept telling me there was no way I was qualified enough because the only recent writing history I have had is on this blog. But I shut that voice up by applying for the position anyway. If there’s one thing I learned at an early age, it was that the majority of the time, the only thing standing in our way is ourselves.
I wasn’t expecting anything to come of it. So you can only imagine how incredibly thrilled I was to get asked to meet for an interview and later, be offered the position. It was the validation I needed after pouring hours upon hours into Bliss This Mess with no idea where it would go. Because the sad, honest truth is that my friends and family weren’t the ones that made up the majority of my support. Which is ok! I wouldn’t expect people to spend their valuable time reading something that didn’t apply to them or interest them.
But, thanks to all of the random strangers across the world that did read and comment on the blog, I kept on writing. Carefully crafting words into sentences that I hoped would resonate with just one other person out there. So whether this is your first time here, or you’ve been following me for awhile, thank you for giving me a reason not to give up doing what I love. I didn’t realize at the time of starting this blog that it would become a portfolio of my best work that led me straight into the next phase of my life as a digital marketing content writer.
How to Balance Working From Home and Parenthood
Remember that little voice of self doubt I had before applying for the job? I’d be lying if I said it didn’t return a hundred more times between the time I accepted the position and my very first day.
Will I be able to do this? I already have enough on my plate as it is!
But you know what’s louder than that voice in my head? My stubbornness and never ending desire to prove myself wrong. Just like the quote from Dale Carnegie suggests, “Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.” So instead of just dipping my toes in the water, I cannonballed into the deep end.
Sure, it took some time to find our groove. But here’s what I have discovered about balancing being a mom and working from home:
1. Plan Your Day
I’m not naturally a very organized person. I don’t have a beautiful, Pinterest-worthy work space with a color coded calendar. However, I do like to-do lists. Every day, I write out the top 3 most important tasks, and focus on that. This also helps make sure that my kids’ appointments don’t fall through the crack. If I have time and the mental capacity to get to more than those three things, then I will. But usually, whatever else is on the list can wait until the next day. This has helped tremendously with feeling overwhelmed.
2. Delegate and Share Responsibilities
“Tell me what you need me to do!”
What my husband says anytime I start shooting him a very strategic side eye. I really don’t think stay at home moms talk often enough about how exhausting the mental load of all of our responsibilities is. If you’re a recovering perfectionist like me, it can be hard to ask for help.
But by sharing the responsibilities with your spouse and older children, it will not only lighten your work load, but it will also foster a stronger sense of teamwork within your family.
3. Increase Your Adaptability
My very first week of working from home, my whole family came down with a horrible virus. We all suffered from high fevers and sore throats. My husband, who I was counting on to pick up the slack that week, ended up spending the whole time sleeping or complaining about how miserable he felt.
You wouldn’t believe how often things like this happen though. I don’t mean us all getting sick at the same time. What I mean is when we get used to our routine and have expectations on how the day or week might go. But when it comes to kids, we have to throw all expectations out of the window. Children are unpredictable. So if we don’t adapt to our an ever changing environment within our own homes, we will become unnecessarily stressed out and frustrated.
So it is important that we learn to adjust our schedules, expectations, and priorities. This might mean learning to be ok with unfinished tasks, accepting that work progress may be slower than we’d like sometimes, or even putting work on hold to seize opportunities with our children. Regardless of the situation, try to embrace these challenges with a positive attitude and a sense of humor.
4. Prioritize Me Time
If you didn’t take anything else from this blog but this, I’d be extremely happy. At risk of sounding selfish, I think this is the most important tip I have discovered so far. Especially because what I do for work blends with what I do for fun: writing.
You have to make time for self care and activities that recharge you because taking care of yourself emotionally and physically enables you to be more present and effective in both your work, and as a mom.
This-Like Everything Else In Motherhood-Is Just a Phase
When you first start on this path of working from home, balancing your professional responsibilities while keeping up with the constant demands of motherhood can feel overwhelming. I know there are more than enough days that I fall into bed at night with tired feet and an overstimulated brain.
While we are often reminded that the days are long and the years are short, it doesn’t mean we don’t catch ourselves wishing away these moments. But trust me, this too, is only a short phase that will soon pass.
The tough, unmanageable days of chaos and noise will soon be replaced with well deserved career victories, promotions, or raises, and you’ll find yourself longing for cute, sticky hands to pull you away from your work.
So be patient with yourself. Trust that you will figure this all out soon enough. And remember, you’re never alone in this journey. If you’re needing some more words of encouragement, be sure to comment below or send me an email directly to Jessica@blissthismessblog.com.
