Importance of Family Communication and How to Improve It

With five kids, people are often surprised that my kids get along so well with each other. I’m extremely grateful that they often act more like good friends instead of sibling rivals.

Since having kids, I have read A LOT of marriage and parenting books. A few years ago, I hit a wall, admitted I had no idea what I was doing (because I had never had kids before), and began learning new and effective ways to parent young children. There was always one common theme I read about; improve our communication with one another. From then on, I made a vow to myself that our family would focus on building a firm foundation on communication.

I mean, this isn’t anything new. Communication is key in every relationship we have. You’d think because every one is born with a mouth, communication would just come naturally. And for some people, it does. But the most important part of communication is knowing when to talk and when to listen. After all, we have all been given one mouth and two ears for a reason.

So, here it is, my five best suggestions for improving family communication.

Schedule Family Time

I have found in the past, if I’m not deliberate in scheduling family time, it never happens. My kids love going on adventures. By adventures, I mean anything that requires leaving our house. They even enjoy going to the grocery store with me. But you should see their faces light up when I suggest going to the pool, to the park, or someplace we have never been before. Kids spell love T-I-M-E and we need to give them that.

Trust me, I love a good productive weekend. But we usually spend all week being productive. If you work hard, you have to play hard. I created a chore chart system for our family. If they work together and finish their chores, they are rewarded weekly with a quality time activity of their choice.

Eat Meals Together

Let’s face it, we live in a time of convenience and speed. It is so hard to find time to actually sit down and enjoy a meal together. But it is so important! My kids love sitting at the dinner table and playing a game they created called, “I Love You Because.” We take turns going around the table and sharing one thing that we love about someone else at the table. Even after a really tough day, this game, and what they share, just melts my heart.

Another special “tradition” the kids created is to eat dinner in the living room every other Monday night so we can watch the newest episode of Dude Perfect on YouTube. It is so simple but I love how it has become our thing.

Be Available to Listen

…and learn to be an ACTIVE listener, too. I am guilty of having a thousand things running through my head that I forget to be present when my kids are talking. They will be rambling for five minutes about something that happened and suddenly, I realize they are staring at me waiting for a response. It is only at that moment that I realize I wasn’t actually listening in the first place. Has this ever happened to you?

You have to create uninterrupted opportunities of conversation with your kids. The best time for me is when we are in the car. I will turn off the radio and start asking my kids a bunch of questions. Aside from me paying attention to the road, none of us have any other outside distractions.

I want to provide an environment my kids feel free to express their thoughts and feelings in. I never want them to hesitate coming to talk to me out of fear of being a bother.

A Date Night For All

I love date night. I especially love treating my kids to a date with me. They look forward to it for days and come back home gleaming about the great time they had.

The best part about family dates is it can accommodate any budget and with a little bit of thinking outside of the box, date night can be super fun for everyone! There are so many cool museums, parks, and trails to explore. Also, try searching your local rec center website for mom and me classes. Sometimes, just a simple lunch at their favorite restaurant is the perfect date night for this crew.

The Power of Love, Appreciation, and Support

Never forget this. Even during times of stress and frustration, I tell my kids thank you, and I love you. One of my kids is more resilient than the others when it comes to discipline. Even if she isn’t making the best decisions, I want her to know her choices don’t define her and it certainly doesn’t affect how much I love her.

Be their support system in everything they do. I remember one of the last conversations I had with my grandpa before he passed last year. I was curious what his best parenting advice was. He said, “always support your kids because they are going to need it.” I am going to do just that!

Family Solidarity Starts with Proper Communication

Improving communication in the family leads to stronger, unbreakable bonds. Be intentional with where you’re devoting your time. I’ll leave you with this last quote from Zig Ziglar, “The key ingredient in family communication is listening, really listening.”

How do you prioritize family communication in your home? Please let me know in the comments!