The Most Important Time of the Day for Kids

My three-year-old daughter, Lillian, marches to the beat of her own drum. She’s the one child that often tests boundaries and challenges authority. I can’t even tell you how many times she has gotten in trouble for coloring on the walls and don’t get me started on the week she decided she was going to cut her hair, multiple times. With her never quit attitude, she is going to change the world!

I remember reading an article awhile back about the importance of the three minutes after a child wakes up and the three minutes before a child goes to bed. What a parent chooses to do in those first few minutes of the day, sets the tone for the rest of the day. Prioritizing the opportunity to connect with your children before bed will help them fall asleep faster and sleep more peacefully.

Some Days are Just Hard

Lillian was the first to wake the other morning. Normally, she quietly climbs out of bed and comes to join me in the living room. Instead, this time, she decided to pick a fight with her older sister. This ended in one of them screaming and crying. Thus, waking everyone else, way before they were ready to get up for the day. I was not happy about it.

During the first few minutes of Lillian’s day, she got an earful of how disrespectful and selfish her actions were. Then, she got up to start her day. I wish this was the end of her shenanigans, but, they had only just begun.

We went to swim lessons, where she complained the water was too cold and fought with me about finishing her 30 minute class. Later, she refused to do her chores for the day. There were also multiple occasions she was in trouble for picking on at least one of her siblings for what seemed like every hour. She had a bone to pick with everyone! I thought the day was never going to end. This is not normal behavior, might I add. I’m up for a challenge just to shake things up every now and then. But nothing could prepare me for Lillian’s A-game.

The Second Most Important Time of the Day

Before bed (and right after getting yelled at for another poor choice), we sat down and reflected on that day’s actions and consequences. She was crying and told me she felt bad. She didn’t really know why she had a bad day. But I did.

Her day began with my negative energy from this week’s exhaustion. Talk about serious mom guilt!

I wanted our day to end on a positive note. So, I gave her a big, long hug, wiped her tears, told her that I loved her and said, “get a good nights rest and let’s have a better day tomorrow.”

It’s a New Day

Every morning, I make it a point to be excited about seeing my kids when they first wake up. They will almost always peek around the corner of the hallway in anticipation for a big smile and “good morning” from me. But this morning, I made sure I was intentional about using positive words with Lillian. We talked on the way to swim lessons about how great of a time she would have and to make the most of her lesson today (she only has two left.)

She was enthusiastic about participating in class and even dunked her whole head under water. Something she was intimidated by up until this point. She scanned the side of the pool until she made eye contact with me. Then gave me a grin and a big thumbs up!

It’s crazy how one simple action can turn things around, right?

Be a Thermostat, Not a Thermometer

I needed to share this story with you so that I could show you, one, even after five kids, I don’t have it all figured out, and two, so you could see how important our words are as mothers. They shape the outcome of the day far more than we know.

I often remind myself that I want to be a thermostat, not a thermometer. A thermometer reflects the temperature of its environment. But a thermostat is used to regulate its environment. I want my words and my actions to regulate the environment that my kids thrive in.

So remember, use those first three minutes of the day wisely and always be thankful for second chances!

How do you connect with your kids in the morning or before bed? Please let me know in the comments!